After defeating the evil Kangaroo in the land of Aussie, Tintin and his crew set out for another adventure. With the warm and humid westerly wind in the air, the Captain decided this is the best time to set sail for Aotearoa, the land of the long white cloud. Everyone is excited about the decision, Tintin wants to meet the Maori, Calculus wants to capture the legendary moose that is said to be hopping around in the deep fiordland’s bush, and the Captain hopes to catch the Americans cup in action, which is going to take place in the Auckland harbour soon. And of course everyone can’t wait to taste the fish n chips of New Zealand. It doesn’t take long before the Sydney harbour disappears from everyone’s eye sight.
“How are you going to capture this deer?” Captain asks.
“Yeah, a hunter in New Zealand has spent 30 years searching for it but found noting yet.” Tintin added. From his bag, Calculus takes out his hearing aid device and says: “with this I will capture the deer, my friend from Canada had helped me to fine tune it in order to pick up the ultrasonic voice of deer that is not noticeable for human ear.”
“Well good luck professor.” Captain joked.
“Wow wow!” Snowy suddenly barks
“What’s the matter snowy?”Asked Tintin
“Wow wow!” Snowy bark more intensively
“Look! A giant wave is coming toward us!” Tintin yells
“Oh no, why this time!! Everyone into the cabin immediately” the Captain commands
“Shut all the windows and doors and stay calm!” Captain
“Where is the professor?” Tintin asks
Calculus had left his bag on the deck and went back for it.
“Come back in you fool!” Captain yells and gone right out to grab the professor, and as soon as the Captain reached him, a huge shadow of the wave cast over the ship.
Whoomfaaaa!!!
It was a mess. The force of the wave was so powerful that it put a big hole in the ship. Windows smashed, water was everywhere and worst of all the captain and professor were both missing.
“Snowy, hang on to me. I am trying to manoeuvre the ship with its last bit of power before it sinks completely.” Tintin says.
With the force of the wave, Tintin managed to land the ship on the shore but the ship is totally wrecked and refused to start again.
“At least we landed; I am worried about the professor and captain.” Tintin says.
“It’s pretty late now; we will camp out for the night and search for them as soon as the sun rises”. It was the most uncomfortable night Tintin ever had. Constantly he woke up in the night worrying about his two mates.
The next morning, Tintin opened his eyes to see that they had landed on a golden sandy beach that stretched as far as he can see. The weather was so calm and the waves gently beat against the beach. They just couldn’t believe what had happened to them yesterday. After trying to communicate with anyone without success, Tintin packed up and left the ship. It was now 3pm and there is still no sign of the professor and the captain.
“Come on snowy, let’s climb up to the mountain so we can see further.”
Walking up the hill, Tintin noticed there was a well under a giant tree. “I wonder what’s in there” says Tintin. The well looked as old as the tree that stood next to it and was dark and deep. “Probably just an ancient well, never mind, let’s carry on to the hill”. As he turned around, he accidentally tripped on the root of the tree and the next thing he knew he was falling straight to the bottom of the well into the darkness. Snowy didn’t want to be parted from Tintin so he jumped straight into the well.
“Am I alive or dead? Where am I? “Tintin asked. Through his blurry vision, he saw a figure with a full tattoo on his face. “It must be judgment day, I must be dead”. “Are you ok, my friend?” the tattooed faced man asked. Slowly Tintin recovered
“Wo! Who are you?”
man said.
“Oh, I am Tintin. Sorry I was freaked out by your tattoo, and I thought I was in hell or something!”
Tane laughs and continued:” this is called Ta moko, it is the custom of Maori culture.” “Maori? So I am now in New Zealand?” Tintin says with delight.
“Yes my friend, you are indeed in New Zealand. My son Maaka found you while out hunting.” Says Tane.
“Hi Tintin, I am Maaka” says Maaka with snowy in his arm.
“Thanks for saving us Maaka” says Tintin.
“Sweet as bro, no worries!” Maaka says.
Tintin couldn’t believe what he saw when he stepped out from the Marae. “Oh my God!!” he said rubbing his eyes in disbelief. “Is this for real?” he yells. In front of him he sees flocks of giant Moas, some are 12 feets tall, feeding at the edge of the settlement. The Piopio, with its beautiful voice singing in the air, takahe running wildly and so many more unknown birds in the forest.
“Welcome to the real Aotearoa.” Tane said.
Meanwhile, not far from Tane’s village. “Where the hell is this place?” asks the Captain. “You aren’t going to find moose down here at the bottom of the well!! We are supposed to be looking for Tintin and snowy!!” said the captain frustratingly.
“Shhhhhh, listen, isn’t that the sound of deer?” says Calculus
“Don’t you shhhh me! Besides I can’t hear anything!” the Captain mumbles.
“Let’s get closer and have a look” with his special device Calculus moves forward followed by the Captain. Suddenly, an arrow landed right in front of them. They turned around trying to run away but more arrows follow.
“Who are you? What are you doing here?” a tattooed face warrior wearing a feather coat sitting on a deer asks. As Calculus and Captain looked up, they realised they surrounded by 10 or so warriors all riding on deer.
“Moose, its really deer, I told you we will find them!!” says Calculus in delight.
“I am Captain Haddock and this is professor Calculus.” The Captain told the warriors.
“Tie them up and bring them back to the Marae.”
“Wait! We come in peace. “The Captain objected but is too late; two big men came up to them and tie and both of them up with flax rope.
Back at the Marae, Tane is showing his guests around his village, when suddenly a big man comes in. “hey chief, the hunting went really well and we got something extra for the Hangi tonight.” He said.
“Oh yeah?” says Tane and turns to Tintin and says “you are in luck my friend.”
As the warrior’s march into the village, only then Tintin recognizes the extra found for the Hangi means his lost friends.
“Help Tintin” yells Captain.
“Hey chief Tane, there must be some misunderstanding here, they are my lost friends that I told you about.” Says Tintin
The captain and professor greeted Tane after they were released, then they sit around to watch a welcome dance perform by the villages.
At dinner, Tane speaks of how his ancestors foresaw the impact of human settlement on Aotearoa and decided to create this hidden world to preserve the originality of New Zealand, and prevent the extinction of so many animals that are now extinct.
“What about the deer?” asked Calculus curiously.
“haha, my father bought them from a Canadian captain on a trip over there, they prove to be better riding then horse.” Says Tane
“We want to keep the deer business totally secret but one moose escaped from our farm last time, and I heard it cost a lot of attention else where in New Zealand” he continued. Everyone laughed. As the night went on the sound of laughing owl taking over the conversation, everyone went back to their bed.
Next morning, Tintin’s crew and Tane go on a hunting trip. All of them riding on the back of a deer and back of them were given some bows and arrows. Tane was right, the moose indeed provided a better ride. Wondering through the thick forest and pick up animal’s sign on the way they reached a huge grassland with a few deer grazing on the grass. Just as everyone has their arrow on the string, the deer started to run like crazy. “What happened? Did they spot us?” Tintin asks. All the sudden a black shadow cast over everyone and Tane yell:” watch out is Pouakai, the giant eagle! Hide into the bush!!”
The giant eagle or Hasst’s eagle with its wind span up to three meters propel itself like a missile from the sky charging straight toward snowy with its steel liked craw. “Run Snowy run!!” Tintin yelled and trying to reach out to Snowy, but the wind that the eagle generated was so powerful that everyone is knocked back. With the speed of lighting, the eagle picked up snowy and disappears in the sky.
“The eagle has also stolen some of my livestock, today I will take my revenge.” says Tane.
“Don’t worry Tintin, I know where the nest of the eagle is, let’s go rescue your friend”. After summon some of his best warrior, they start climbing the towering mountain at the end of the valley. Is a difficult journey; the path to the peak of the mountaining where the eagle nest is steep and rocky. However everyone is determined. With high spirits they finally reached the nest. The eagle happened to be asleep when they arrived but there was no sign of Snowy.
“Oh no, Snowy might have been eaten…” Tintin crys.
“Look, there snowy is waged between the eagle’s eggs!” say Tane
The joy of knowing Snowy still alive is so overwhelming, Tintin totally forgets about the danger of the eagle and yells: “Snowy!” Disrupted and awaken, the eagle is angry. It beat its wings furiously, firing a wave of stones towards everyone. Some of the brave warriors trying to take on the eagle but the mighty eagle is too powerful to be confronted. Arrows are fired but none of them seems to stop the fuming eagle. In a desperate attempt Tintin leaps on to the claw of the eagle and bites the claw as hard as he can. The bite sends a lot of pain to the eagle; as it drops snowy but also flies away in a panic.
“Snowy, are you ok?” Tintin
“wow wow” Snowy
With snowy in his arm Tintin says :”I will never let go of you again my dear friend.”
Back at the village Tintin is welcomed by the villager like a hero. That night Tane organises a big dinner party to honour and celebrate Tintin’s victory. Everyone is having a really good time. Food and drink are plentiful, and people dance to the music. It is a night not to be forgotten.
When Tintin and the others wake up in the morning, they are surprised to find no trace of the village let alone Tane and his villager. They are back at the beach where they first landed. Next to the wreck of their ship lay a beautiful carved Waka. A figure on the front of the Waka resembles that of Tane the chief.
“Look, there is a message here!” yells Calculus
Dear friend
It was a pleasure to have you with us for the last few days, your story of bravery and love for friendship has touched us deeply. Unfortunately our ancestor had once stated outside we are not allowed to stay for more than certain day hence here you are at where you came from. Please have my Waka to finish your journey and may Tangarao, the god of sea and fish be with you.
Tane
Tintin and friends wanted to go back and thanks Tane for his hospitality and most importantly saving all of their life but the ancient well is never to be found again. Leaving with disappointment, Tintin left his favourite scarf on the big tree that stood next to the site of the well as a message to Tane’s people.
“Farewell my friend, hope to see you again” Tintin says.
“oh right, let’s go, we might be in time for the Americans cup in Auckland” the Captain says.
Off Tintin and his friends go, to embark on another journey.
16 comments:
Bahram, this really is an entertaining fanfic installment on the Tintin franchise. It's humorous and manages to create sense of adventure (as per The Adventures of Tintin). Also it follows the Tintin formula (Actually part of the wider grammar of popular genres) of the hero moving from the ordinary to extraordinary world and back again. The lost valley is a perfect extraordinary world, like in jurassic Park or King Kong, etc. Perhaps however you can have him leaving on a plane or ship at the end as Tintin almost always does.
Generally well written and realised description and dialogue too, though the tense of the action (sometimes present, sometimes past) is a bit confusing at times.
Couple of points in terms of tone: Tintin coming to Aotearoa to bag a moose feels a bit strange as first these animals are not native to NZ but second its like a return to the hunter-Tintin of Tintin and the Congo. Capturing game seems like the early Titnin, not the Tintin who by the 70s was wearing CND bands on his arms. Also, some phrases -Tintin: 'I was freaked out' - just don't match the tone of the original. Also, what is the 'laughing owl'? A morepork? A kea (actually a parrot)? Finally, if the Maori in the valley are trying to roll back time have them using spears not bows and arrows, which were used by Amerindians but never Maori!
Cool stuff - now where are your drawings? ;)
Hi, Bahram:
I try to leave my comment.
But after the presentation of Dr Paul's comment, I have no word...
I'm sorry...
Hello Dr Paul Mountfort
Thank you for your comment to my fanfiction. I am so happy that it was accepted by you in general. Your encouragement has given me hope to write more in the future. Your positive points of my writing show that I understand the subject “popular goners”. Unfortunately some grammar mistakes, especially in using tense of the actions (sometimes present, sometimes past) caused a bit of confusion at times to the readers as you mentioned. I will try to be careful in the future. About the moose which I have chosen for this story, I have to say that I knew that moose are not the native animals to NZ.I wanted to use “kiwi” for the story but I thought it might offend someone and moreover kiwi are protected by NZ government. I have to say that I had already read all Tintin stories in Persian. Tintin is a famous character in Iranian literature and you can find them in most Iranian homes. By the way, I tried using my imagination for writing this story and I have gotten some different scenarios as you noticed. Additionally, as you mentioned I made a mistake for a Maori weapon. I thought the bows and arrows are common primitive weapons for every tribes and nation. I am mistaken. Finally, I do not understand what you mean by” now where are your drawings?
With regards
Bahram
Hi Kimiko
I want to know your opinion about my fanfiction.It will be nice if I know your idea.
Thanks
Hi, Bahram;
You say, ‘you had already read all Tintin stories in Persian. Tintin is a famous character in Iranian literature and you can find them in most Iranian homes.’ On the other hand, Tintin is not popular in Japan. So, for me, the ‘The blue lotus’ is the first book I have read Herge’s book. Therefore, I cannot clear analysis comparing the other books. However, your story is really interesting and humorous. I enjoyed it, and I think you well depict Tintin’s character.
Hi again kimiko
As I already said the Tintin is a famuos charactor in Iran. Moreover I thought he is famuos every where in the world. I am surpriesed why he is not popular in Japan? It might be from view of political problems. Am I right?
Hi Bahram
Cool - all that makes sense. Maybe replace moose with deer since there are some of those in the NZ wilderness? None of these are make or break issues, just comments.Kimiko, you're as much part of Bahram's audience as me - don't be afraid to leave yer own comments. 'Now where are the illustrations = joke (though if you can draw... (I can't!)).
Hi, Bahram;
I think there is any political problem. I think simply Japanese do not interested in the series, because all the series is published in Japan (of course, those books are Japanese version)and we can freely read them.
It may be an improper expression, it related to the economic aspect. Because of the unpopularity and the non profitability, the characters do not appear any media in Japan, and then the series becomes increasingly unpopular.
Although I asked around 20 Japanese (my friends, ex-co-workers. etc) about Tintin, only one person answered she knew him.
The person is my sister. I’m proud of her.
Hi Dr paul:
I heard this is Baharam's final version.
Hi Kimiko
I hope you are good. It is my final version but I will correct my story according to advice Dr Paul Mountfort for instance replace moose with deer and so on.
Hello Bahram!
Your fanfic has been written for quite a long time then, but I have just read it after handing in our Digital Essay Assignment.
Bahram! It is a very interesting fanfic. You know what? I kept laughing about your ideas, your thoughts and opinions for the adventure – Good on you my friend!
However, these are my comments for yours.
.
First of all, I’m a bit confused about the beginning of the story, as what I think is, you should focus on Tintin as a hero of the story, because it is his adventure – But you said Tintin wants to meet the Maoris, Calculus wants to capture the moose, and the Captain wants to see the America’s cup, which seems to me that they are all main characters and heros, and that’s why I said I was a bit confused. Anyway, who is Calculus and what is his important role in the story?
Secondly, Tane greeted Tintin in a very friendly way. But when Tane’s men found out Calculus and the Captain, they told Tane that these are extra food for the Hangi. Is it because they were more cruel than their leader, Tane?
Thirdly, I was hoping that there will be a more strong incident between Tintin and the Giant Eagle, as the climax of the story, but Tintin just bites the claw of the Eagle and the Eagle flew away – meaning Tintin couldn’t kill the Eagle. I wish the Eagle to be killed by the hero, Tintin, before back to the ordinary world.
Fourth is, the farewell message from Tane – That should be strongly focused on, as the two cultures are going to be apart again. That should be a sad time for them, and there should be some tears at their farewell. It’s good to have a souvenir from the Maoris, which is a Waka. But in return, it is just a scarf left on a tree by Tintin. What is so important about that scarf?
How about finishing the story, by Tintin informing his crew to get ready for another big adventure to Samoa, and I will go to Samoa and wait for them, so that I can give them some Taro?
Bahram, Tane is mentioning Tangaroa, the God of the sea – that is the same God I have mentioned in my fanfic, but the Samoan name is Tagaloalagi, the God who created the Earth as the Samoan mythical belief.
Finally, it is about some spelling mistakes and some grammars, because they can sometimes make the meaning of the story off.
But mate! It is a funny and interesting fan fiction. Good luck!
Hi Poe
Thanks a lot for your comment for my fan fiction. As you mentioned my story has some weaknesses. Additionally, I have written this fan fiction before I became familiar to vogler. I mean I did not know about arts 1, 2 and 3. Finally, I did not want to focus to some incidents for example between Tintin and the Giant Eagle. I disliked saying that Tintin killed the bird. Have a good holiday.
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